If you have been reading any of my posts then you would probably realize that I love qoutes and songs. Sometimes I can't find the right words to express myself and then I stumble upon a qoute or song that sums up my feelings as if the writer penned the words specifically for me. This is one of those times. "Roll away your stone" by Mumford and Sons speaks to me louder than any song I have ever heard. But this post is not focused towards me; it is aimed towards those troubled individuals who are batteling in between two different constructs of themselves.
If you never take any other advice from me please accept this; always be you, never compromise, and do not be forced into someone or something you are not. The apostle Paul wrote in Romans, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God", (Romans 12:2,KJV). Four years ago I started my slow dark journey down this road of "losing myself" and there is nothing rewarding or easy about it. Emotional scars still linger and I'm not sure if they will ever go away. I do know though, that through many years of searching, I have finally rediscovered me. But the easiest way to find who you truly are is to never lose oneself in the first place. "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishmen," Ralph Waldo Emerson. I mainly work with high school students and through being around them for long periods of time combined with my own personal experiences I have come to the conclusion that losing oneself happens mainly through being bullied and through imitation; therefore, for this post I am going to talk about those two variables.
Bullies are despicable. They pick on the weak or those unlike themselves. Through my own observations, I firmly believe that bullies are narsosistic fools. Bullies tend to be power hungry and therefore use disgusting tactics to try and completely control their victims, (which gives the bullies the power they so desperately crave). They chose thier prey not due to weakness of the body, but strength of thier victim's mind. Intellectuality causes bullies to be afraid and look into thier own insecurities. I believe they bully to merely hide thier own insecurities and lack of confidence. Bullying is meant to demean or belittle the victim to hopefully bring the victim down to his own level of the darkness in which he calls life. They thrive off of the reaction of the victim and likes to see them suffer and fall apart emotionally. Bullies themselves think of themselves as Alphas and do not like to be challenged. So don't. I know it seems crazy but the more you play into his/her game the more you lose critical pieces of yourself until you can't recognize yourself at all. I have found that by continually showing no emotion, no anger, no tears etc, the bully will have no reason to pick on you. This takes strength but is extremely effective because the bully bullies for the gratification of seeing you visibly upset. Without that gratification all he/she has is thier own insecurities. "When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end you end up polished, and they end up useless" Chris Colfer. Do not seek revenge on bullies. The Bible tells us to pray for our enemies and God tells us that one day he will have the final say. As a christian, do not feel sorry for your beliefs. During Jesus's sermon on the mount he said, "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of rightousness, for thiers is the kingom of heaven," (Matt. 5:10).
The second way I see teenagers (and adults) lose who they are is through imitation. Some say imitation is the greastest form of flattery. To me, and again I have experienced this, imitation is a slow journey of you changing into a person that a mirror cannot recognize and thus begins the slow death of your old self, which includes your morals and what you believe to be truth. People imitate others for several reasons: to fit in, makes them think they are more beautiful, to try and raise thier social status, and to avoid getting bullied. The latter is what I went through and it has taken its toll on my mind and heart. I tried to imitate the people that were not being bullied and surely but slowly I lost myself and everything I stood for. Please just be you, there is only one you and do everything possible to protect YOU. God created man, and God is perfect. Everybody is different for a specific reason, a specific purpose. If God wanted everyone to be the same, then there would never be great advances in science, math, technology, etc. If he wanted us to be the same then all men would be amazingly handsome creatures that look exactly like me. Don't ever doubt who you are or what you stand for and never let anybody take you or your beliefs away from you. It is a constant fight that we must face and with His help we will win. E.E. Cummings wrote, "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." There is only one person that anyone should try to imitate..Jesus Christ our savior.
I am writing this mainly as a warning of what giving yourself up to someone other than God can do to man. As I said before, a lot of times I can't find words to express my feelings, so I turn to outside sources such as the Bible, books, poems and songs. The song I alluded to earlier is one that is so powerful to me because I did everything the wrong way. I allowed myself to be bullied and I used imitation to try to avoid being bullied and in the process I lost the only possession I have that means anything in this evil world...my soul. Instead of looking for answers through God, I was trying to find worldly solutions. So I will leave you with these words from the song "Roll Away Your Stone" that really hit home for me and I hope anyone out there who finds this can find some type of peace and a greater acceptance of the importance of who you are as a person.
Stars hide your fires
These here are my desires
And I won't give them up to you this time around
And so I'll be found
With my stake stuck in the ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul
But you, you've gone too far this time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine
My stake is finally stuck firmly in the ground, is yours? Thanks again for reading and your support. Please feel free to share these posts on Facebook if you think some of your friends would enjoy reading any of this! And if you like this please feel free to go back and read my other posts. And comment, even if it is annonymous, it truly does help and I like to hear other's opinions.
Breck
1 comment:
Very nicely put, Breck. Really makes you think about yourself and what others may be struggling with. Thanks for sharing!!! :-)
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