Freedom

I love Memorial Day weekend. We get a three day weekend and are off of work on Monday. It's great because we get some free time to do whatever we want. Most people BBQ and drink their beer with their friends and hang out and play games. Some go camping while others head to the lake and river to go fishing. It seems like it is the most relaxing weekend of the year. Pools are full with kids splashing and diving without a care in the world. My only problem is that I think many Americans have lost the true meaning of Memorial Day.

 Memorial Day was started in the 1860's to honor civil war veterans who lost their lives. The tradition continued through World Wars I and II. Somewhere along the line, as with many American values, we as a nation have forgotten the meaning of this sacred day. We have forgotten a sacred principle to American life which is patriotism. George William Curtis said,"A man's country is not a certain area of land, of mountains, rivers, and woods, but it is a principle and patriotism is loyalty to that principles.". Cemeteries all across the country are filled with fallen soldiers whose graves are neglected and forgotten. We are in the middle of a transformation to honor our fallen heroes to a three day party; it's a shame and it needs to be reversed. I was a part of this "new" Memorial Day until last year. We went to Washington, DC for Memorial Day. I was honored to step inside the gates of Arlington National Cemetery; which by the way I think it should be a place all US citizens should be mandated to visit once in their life. It was an extremely humbling experience to say the least. I can't express the feeling with words. It is almost like when pride meets sadness and you can feel it deep into your soul, and there it will stay embedded forever. As far as your eyes can see are beautiful rolling hills with perfect green grass and then there are the Marble stones. All shaped the same, placed in row after row in perfect order. You could walk for hours and not see the same stone twice. Next to each stone is a small American flag blowing in the gentle breeze. Thousands of people were visiting to pay their respects but the silence was present. Even with the multitude of people paying their respects you could hear a pin drop in the perfectly manicured grass. It's hard not to have tears in your eyes, even as a grown man, while looking out and seeing stone after stone after stone knowing they paid the ultimate price for my freedoms. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13). Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Babe Ruth these men are not heroes. The men and women who rest underneath these stones are our true American Heroes. They paid the ultimate price for the freedom for me to share my thoughts and for you to grill and hang out with your friends. I'm not asking to give up your entire weekend. All I am asking is for Americans to sacrifice a small part of our time to honor those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms.

Garden of Stone

You peacefully sleep in this garden of stone
Your marble says your name's unknown
But without a doubt, my debt you own
Your love for freedom, you've definitely shown

As I keep walking through this garden of stone
I start to notice, I think I'm all alone
Flags fly by the cross that marks your bones
Your love for freedom, you've definitely shown

As I leave, tears force my eyes to close
I know that I will never pay the debt I owe
The gates close behind me as I slowly go
Kids please take note; for these are true heroes

God bless all of the families and loved ones who died serving our county and our current and past veterans.  Thank you all for your service.

Breck

Breaking Point

Life is something that no man will ever figure out. Death is something that no man will ever figure out, but life and death go hand in hand. We all truly begin to die the day we are born, yet one of the major fears in life is death. I was terrified of death throughout my depression. In our church alone we have had 4 untimely deaths that rocked our church to the core. We persevered. We must remember that the ones we loved so dearly are never truly dead until we have forgotten them. "God's finger touched him, and he slept", Alfred Lord Tennyson. But that doesn't mean that upon awakening it wasn't the most beautiful place they have ever seen. I know it is hard, but sometimes we have to view death as a celebration or victory. "Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean", David Searls. We as Christians must have faith that God is in control and has a higher purpose for us then being here on Earth. Trust me, I know this doesn't make losing a loved one any easier, but they are without pain, reunited with friends and loved ones and their Maker. Hellen Keller said, "Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see". She saw death as a celebration. In Isaiah 41:13 God tells us "For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto you fear not, I will help thee."

I will not reveal all names due to privacy, but one man who passed away was our pastor Mike Nix. He was truly the closet to a perfect man than anyone I have ever met.  He knew all 800 members of our church intimately, knew our family, knew our friends, hobbies, and he knew the Bible like the back of his hand. During my depression I kept a journal that was full of notes and thoughts I was having at the time. I was so excited but i knew if one person could read my thoughts and help me become me again it was Mike. Then the breaking point came. I will never forget the day. It was a Saturday and I was uncommonly happy this day because the next day I was going to talk to Mike and let him read my journal, which is huge because I wouldn't even let Elizabeth read it. But one of a favorite singers Foy Vance says, "Hope deals the hardest blows". I then got a call that Mike passed away suddenly and for the first time since I can remember I cried like a baby. That uncontrollable cry where words couldn't come. Now don't misread this, I absolutely loved Mike, but on this day I felt like my only way out of depression was gone. I was shattered. On Monday the church was open all night in case people wanted to pay their respects in private. I stayed until about 2 and then went to the car to cry some more and play guitar to take my mind off the pain. I went back in and stayed until 5 am. I can't explain this and some people may think I'm crazy but there was just something about looking at his body that was intriguing. I could tell it was not the Mike Nix that I knew and you could tell he was in complete peace. As I was sitting there I suddenly realized that I was looking for help in the wrong place. Mike had total faith and love for God and it hit me that I should be seeking answers not from a man but from God.  Foy Vance sang at the end of the song, "Hope deals the hardest blows, but I can't help but to hope."  Mike gave me that hope.  So to those who have lost loved ones, may you find comfort in the fact that they still help people find God after their deaths and still touch troubled souls like Mike touched mine. My prayers go out to all those inflicted by the the pain from a death in their family and to all those who have lost loved ones, please remember that, "For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity". William Penn

 "Turn pain into possibilities, problems into projects, obstacles into opportunities,stumbling blocks into stepping stones, tragedies into triumph; and harvest fruit from frustration. You don't have to be a victim because of your circumstances. You can be a victor in spite of your circumstances. God is not a pampering God; He is a perfecting God.". Mike Nix

This poem was written the night i stayed at the church all night struggling with my thoughts. 

Last Sermon

Joyful yet dark
Chained but free
Morning started warm
As the day grew chilly
Hope had arrived, yet
He'd given his last sermon

Tears fell like rain
My heart grew cold
Walls were closing in
As my fears took hold
Hope was lost, for
He'd given his last sermon

Anger filled my heart
But peace slowly came
There had to be a reason
So I called His name
Close to understanding, but
He'd given his last sermin

Searching my soul
My shoulders became broad
His love and spirit gave hope
For he had led me to God
Now I'm grateful, for
He'd given his last sermon.