Fearless

Everyone talks about being fearless.  You have to be fearless to succeed, or be fearless in order to do this or do that.  In my opinion nobody is truly fearless.  Nobody can hide from it, no fearless man exists.  You show me a fearless man and i will show you a foolish man who is so imprisoned by his own fears that he can't even admit them.  Sure, a man can conquer a fear, or act despite a fear but no one can totally eliminate fear.  It is woven in the fabric of our minds; sometimes it lies in hibernation in the recesses of our brain and sometimes it smacks us in the face.  But it  never totally goes away.  Even Mark Twain once said, "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."  He understood that the absence of fear is an impossible feat.  Fear is a living breathing nightmare that exists everywhere and in every living thing.  It creeps in through the tiny cracks in our armor and lies in wait.  Fear comes in many different forms: fear of death, failure, losing everything, spiders, dogs and so on an so on.  For me i have several different fears that have been attacking my mind.  I have a fear of being insignificant, a fear of not living up to certain expectations, fear of failing as a father and a husband.  Many of you reading can probably relate and struggle with some of the same fears that i do.

So how do we conquer these fears?  People say "face your fears and they will go away".  This isn't logical to me.  How do i face me being insignificant or not living up to certain expectations?  What if my major fear was...lets say tornadoes for example.  Do i just go outside and stand in front of a F4 tornado coming down on me?  No, that's ignorance.  I think the only way to fight fear is not necessarily face it to conquer it, but acknowledge it's presence and act despite of it.  For me, that involves waking up everyday and challenging myself to become a better man, father, and husband no matter what circumstances come my way.  Sometimes i succeed and sometimes i fail, but everyday i fight.  For me, i also lean on God to help me through these days.  God tells us in Isiah 41:10, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee...".  He holds me up in times of weakness.  For those days where fear does win out, i think it is because i didn't put enough hope and faith in God; something i personally have to work on.

Don't be fooled however.  Whatever way you decide to take on fear, one thing you have to do is act.  For doing nothing at all guarantees fear will win out everytime.  It will create a prison, in which its victim cannot escape.  Trust me.  I've been there.  It's dark, cold, lonely, and paralyzing.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Fear defeats more people than an other thing in the world."  After being imprisoned by it and almost defeated, I completely believe he was right.  As I said at the start, nobody can ever be fearless.  We are all in a constant war with fear and must accept some battles we will win and some battles we will lose.  But we must never cease to fight.

The Victor

It spreads silently through the night
Creeping in the shadows of ignorance
The weak it picks for a fight

With such effective passion does it bring
A relentless poison with which to sting

Ever so slowly with all its might
Invading its host, outside their sight
Bravely the mind tries to fight
But the soul with no hope sees death near
As the victor explains, you can't fight fear

Breck

If you have any experience defeating your fears or disagree with my opinions please feel free to comment.  Thanks for reading.

ME

I am me. I am not You, nor do I want to be You.  Who gave You the right to decide who i should or should not be.  I am me, that is all I want to be.  I can't and won't be all of these things that You project on me, for I am me, I am not You.  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.".  I'm not perfect and never have I claimed to be, But show me a perfect person, and to them maybe I will listen.  Don't bully me, judge me, or push me in a certain direction because that is what You want for me.  I am me, and forever will be.  You will not control me or continually force me to question who I am and question who I should be.  Let the judging begin.  I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.  It's ok, i will wait for your gasp to finish and your mouth to close back up.  It is something that I have been dealing with for a while and I am learning to deal with.  Depression is real, but unless you have it or have experienced it cannot be defined in words.  There are some days where I struggle to find the energy to do everyday tasks that people hate but i actually want to do.  I would love to work outside in the yard but for some reason I can't.  I can't explain it, it just happens.  Once fear and depression creeps in I think it never leaves.  You just have to learn to deal with it.  But guess what, that's me and I am me.  Some of you are probably sitting here now judging me thinking I'm "crazy" but I am willing to bet that there are more people with depression than without.  I am willing to bet that even some of you reading this have or have been through some sort of depression.  I think the world needs less judgement and more compassion.  I don't want pity, nor, sympathy.  I want to be left alone to be ME, not You  "...be yourself - not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be." Henry David Thoreau.  Life deals each of a certain deck of cards and we can either, play them, fold them, or try to cheat and switch cards.  I will play mine.  I am me.  I will not compromise to be someone I'm not nor will I give up.  Is depression difficult to go through?  Everyday.  Will I beat it?  Above is my five month old son Cooper.  Of course I will beat it.  I pray everyday he has his mother's strength and courage and will never have to go through this, but he is my inspiration.  I will face what is thrown at me, and me being me will defeat whatever "it" is.

What does your judgement gain?

"Don't judge me, I dont care what you think you know
because what you know is far from the truth.
Truth is, I don't care what you think you might know.
Always remember we reap what we sew.

Don't judge me, i know i have a long way to go
The ghosts in my mind make it hard for me to cope.
If you judge from outside, your on a downward slope.
Right now I need love.  Love breeds hope.

Don't judge me and think you better than me.
More fame and money doesn't make you free.
If your truth's are right then the blind can see.
Look into my heart, for it holds the key.

Cause if you can't see my heart
then you dont know my soul.
If you dont know my soul
then you can't feel my pain.
If you can't feel my pain
then what does your judgment gain."

Breck

Never Ever Give Up

"Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance. "  Samuel Johnson. Perseverance is a hard concept for people to accept. It requires hard work, patience, and commitment. Everyone has goals and aspirations in life but many people never reach them due to lack of perseverance. One reason people fail is because of the fear of failure itself. Others want us to fail. They have given up on their dreams, lost their commitment and believe it to be impossible. There will be people in your life that will continually try to stop you from reaching your dreams. Why that is, I can only speculate. It could be jealousy, or maybe they are failing and want to bring you down with them. Maybe they are just cold hearted and don't like for people to succeed. FORGET THEM. All through history you can find example after example of extraordinary perseverance that pails in comparison to what you and I would face. It is possible to succeed and reach your dreams in this world. Napoleon Bonaparte famously said, "Victory belongs to the most preserving". (I know this quote is ironic seeing how Napoleon was defeated by the Russians and he spent the rest of life in exile-embarrassing! However, he is still remembered as one of the greatest military commanders in all of history and the quote rings true.)

One famous man in history failed countless times but continued to pursue his dreams until they became a reality. He had money trouble, patents and ideas stolen from him by other companies, and was told no your ideas are too far fetched at every turn in his life. One night he tucked his daughter into bed, and she told him about a book she just read and told him he should read it. He immediately fell in love and wanted to make it into a movie. He met with the author for the rights and of course she said no. There was no way she was going to give the rights to this failure of a man and allow him to destroy her art for the world to see. This didn't deter him. He had faced failure before and knew how to overcome rejections. So he continued conversations with the author who continually said no. But his persistence finally paid off. 20 years, (yes 20 years!, which is where patience comes into play) after first reading the book the rights were given to him and the movie was released. This movie ended up being one of the most critically and most financial success in his life. The movie was Mary Poppins and the man was Walt Disney. Disney was told no by over 300 financial backers before being approved to create "The happiest place on earth" which still continues to bring joy to the hearts to adults and children alike from all over the world. He was not going to be denied his dreams. We must have the same philosophy. So when you are told no over and over again, never give up. Reevaluate the steps needed to reach your goals. Maybe you are asking the question the wrong way or maybe even asking the wrong question. But where there is a will there is a way. God didn't put us on Earth to be failures. Yes we will fail sometimes, but that is when we must reevaluate ourselves and our mental state and preserve. He specifically gave us individual talents so that we may utilize them. For those who say its impossible, they have not persevered. But for you and I we must. And here comes another lame poem I wrote, sorry!

Pretend it's the truth which I heed
Where men who bleed can still stand and lead
My mind being freed, I state my creed
I shall succeed

I will proceed while others quit indeed
Unrealistic, impossible others will plead
My dreams will be reached, not out of greed
But from inner desire from which I feed
I shall succeed

I will lead others who cry out in need
I will not plead with those that impede
I will feed off those who try to make me bleed
I shall succeed

I will not concede my dignity, nor will I secede
I will destroy my weeds and plant new seeds
I will let God lead, for those will be my deeds
I will proceed with this new creed to which I have agreed
I SHALL SUCCEED

Breck

Thanks for reading, please follow by email, I would LOVE for people to sign into google and leave comments.  Comments help inspire me to write more and you can even leave ideas or whatever you want.  Just click the"join this site" button on the right hand side and then use your google account or create one.  Once you do that you can click to follow me and i will know if people are actually reading!  You can also enter your email address at the the top right and it will notify you when a new post is made, or i think that is what it is supposed to do. Please share with friends that you think may want to read by sending them the link or giving them the website address or facebook or whatever. Thanks again for the support and encouraging words from the people who have read this and please keep reading.  But remember, this just inst an inspirationalish type blog, tomorrow i might write how my dog pooped on Coopers play mat; its just going to be whatever is on my mind at the time.. Writing is liberating, you should try it!

Sacrifice

When I think of sacrifice, the first thing that comes to mind is our military men and women. Both of my grandfathers, my dad, and my father-in-law served in the military. They were willing to give everything to ensure we could maintain freedom. I am extremely proud of my family and all of the service men and women that lay their lives on the line for other Americans. After hearing all the talking heads on tv talking about its a "bad war" and we shouldn't be there it really upset me. No matter your political affiliation or your stance on war, the soldiers on the front line deserve our respect. Period. So unfortunately for y'all I wrote another poem, I know I'm not Shakespeare but get over it.

Every night morning rings

Every morning children sing

But for her today silence rains

7000 miles away is where he lays

She drops to her knees and begins to pray

All she feels is pain and the goverernment is who you blame

Oh won't you please step into the other side of the rain

She closes his eyes, drops her head and prays

The pain is creeping in and it's just beginning for her

Just a wooden box, with a flag placed on top

Six feet down is where he'll go, but the pain you will never know

Only memories remain, but for you it's all the same

Won't you please step into the other side of the rain

He stood for you when fear came calling

But you ran from him when he started falling

Death was around you so you called his name

He fought for you not asking for fame

A white cross now over his grave

Was it your soul that man saved

Lisa

So I realize I'm not the best blogger or most entertaining author but, eehhhh. I like to write and my hands cramp when I write so I've decided to type. Fear plays a major factor in my life and for you that one person who continues to read this blog, you will realize that. With patience and faith God will provide us with opportunities. It is up to us to see and follow those opportunities. Opportunities bring change and change brings fear. The fear of the unknown.Nothing in life is always certain. "Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts". Arnold Bennett. I think it takes courage and strength to change. The change a friend chooses may not be in our best interest but as a friend we can only stand beside them and help them succeed through their new journey. If you ever feel those drawbacks or discomforts, talk to a friend. A real friend and no matter their motives, they will give you advice that is best for you, not them.

Opportunities come and opportunities go

Like the wind, sometimes we feel it others we never know

When they hit us in face there is no mistaking

We have to grab the opportunity before it's taken

Opportunities come and opportunities go

The roads we travel we will never know

When the end we reach it will finally show

Good or bad, it's facing our fears that allow us to grow

Much love

Breck

Excuses

I hate excuses and lies and placing blame on others. If you made a mistake or have wronged somebody own up to it and apologize.Ben Franklin stated, "He That is good at making excuses are seldom good for anything else". A lot of people blame time and that bugs me. They have the same amount of time in a day as everybody else in the world they just choose not to take advantage of it. Franklin also said, "Lost time is never found again". John Wooden similarly stated, " If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over". We make the choices of what to do with our time and what we choose to do with that time defines who we are as people. Everyday we all face problems or challenges we have to face. Some face them head on, while others let time try to defeat their problems. Again I leave you with a poem. Please comment if you feel like it and thanks for visiting. Oh and remember I'm an athletic trainer not a poet or author so forgive my lack of style, rhyming schemes, blah blah. I say just write what you feel, no rules.

"Time"

Time is only minutes and hours

It ticks by steady daily

But don't blame change on time

A man's character is not defined by hours

But by the mountains he chooses to climb

I can't blame what I've become on time

The choices laid in front of me were mine

What has become of me over time

Have all been because of the mountains I chose to climb.

Breck

Friends

Friendships suck. It's like a rose, it's a beautiful thing but sometime it will sting the crap out of you. George Washington once said, "Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence". I couldn't agree more; I mean who could argue with Washington? He took a stand and defeated his old country and I like to think he sat on the coastline shooting them the bird while the British were sailing back across the Atlantic completely defeated. Somebody needs to paint that painting. I wish I would have taken his advice. I gave confidence to people way too soon. I stood up for myself and as heartbreaking as it was, I turned around to see myself standing alone. At least it defined for me what a friend really is. Why can't it just be easier and everybody has to wear name tags that just say "real" or "fake". That way there is no second guessing and you know who will stand beside you. But to all my "friends" I leave you with my poem.

Friend or Foe

Friend or foe?

On the surface it's impossible to tell

When difficult circumstances arrive

It's then we will know

Friend or foe?

You say you are with me

Yet here I am standing

Alone

Friend or foe?

You tell me

Friend or foe?

Friend just be real, no false words

Stand with me, so alone I won't be

For you my foe,

my next move you shall never know.

Breck

So I have decided to try this blogging thing. There really isn't a theme or purpose to it. My head is just filled with millions of words and phrases that I can't seem to complete so maybe if I just let them out they will all come together . Well that is the plan anyways. On any given day the topic could change from venting to inspirational, to medicine to complete randomness that will completely befuddle anyone who reads it. Please leave comments if you feel the need. I hope somebody enjoyed it. Breck